No longer needed
by ScottyBgood
Summary: Tori reflects on her relationship with Jade, and how she's no longer needed in the goth's life. I don't own anything. Lost of back story for a one shot. Read, review, Jori.


Writers block and long term stories mean nothing is ready to post. I hammered this out in two hours. I hope you like it.

Inspired by "behold the human flame" by fluorescent lites. Don't ask how.

:}

Tori was not happy about the way Jade was portrayed on TMZ. It was the usual, a quick ambush interview at lunch while she was visiting a friend. To make things worse, she was talking to Beck. As long as she was in New York, she felt she should take the chance to bridge the old hurts between her and the Broadway star. The lunch had been pointless. Beck was still hurt that Tori had chosen not to be with him. She remembered.

It was seven years ago, and they were all graduating from Hollywood Arts. Beck was going to New York to attend Julliard, or maybe the New York institute of the Arts, Tori wasn't sure, and he had just broken it off with Jade. Jade had been accepted to both those schools, as well as Calarts, but was going to UCLA with a full scholarship. The Goth's parents wouldn't pay for her education unless they retained full control, and Jade needed to be free. So Beck set her free as well. And less than two days later, Beck asked Tori to move to New York to be with him

Tori was not going directly to college, but was going to take classes on line while touring in support of her first album. Tori was already living the dream, or at least starting to, and could live anywhere she wanted as long as her record company, had an office there. Beck asked her to come with him to New York, but Tori, tempted as she was, said no. Jade was damaged, everyone knew that, and losing her family and Beck might be too much for her. Jade would need someone to hold her hand as she tried to make it in the world. Beck asking Tori out so quickly was salt in an open wound, and Tori didn't want to keep hurting Jade. For Beck, if no other reason. So Tori turned beck down, and he resented her for her choice from that moment on.

Her relationship with Jade was supposed to be platonic, two friend living together as they made their lives in the entertainment business. Back then, neither was worth TMZ's time, but Tori was slowly getting better known. Jade, however, reacted to both the near total isolation from everyone she loved with a growing depression. Tori watched the Goth sink, only kept afloat by burring herself in her work. Trina soon figured out one of the reasons Jade always worked so hard is because she was one bad day away from a different use for her scissors. Tori scoffed at that statement, later to start calling her sister for advice when Jade started slipping towards the deep end.

After a year together, Tori figured out that Jade needed to belong to someone, to feel as if someone loved her. That was the start of their relationship, and Tori almost immediately got the benefits. Beyond Jade sticking up for her when they saw the stalker press, Tori found the story of her 'coming out' drew a lot of support. For one summer, after jade's freshman/sophomore year, Tori was hot news and her second album was becoming a hit with each song released, all before the album was complete. Also, jade was a very giving lover who loved to cuddle.

Jade's best known soliloquy, told by a despondent human lover of a girl seduced by the supernatural world, was never supposed to be part of Jade's first movie, the one that put her on the map. It was, slightly modified, the suicide note she intended to explain to Tori why she had to end everything. It was the note Tori's bodyguard gave her at the hospital after rescuing jade from the pills and Alcohol poisoning. Tori would for ever be grateful for that mans professionalism and his dedication to checking her home. After that, Jade wasn't allowed to be alone. Tori took her along on summer tours unless Jade was making a movie, and then someone in Tori's employment was there to keep an eye on her.

Tori's relationship with Jade deepened as Tori tried to give the Goth a lifeline. Jade was a hard one to live with, often cruel and distant, but the goth slowly let the singer in, and the two found a genuine love for each other under all the baggage. It was that love that encouraged jade to seek professional help after her second suicide attempt, the one following the Enquirer story about Tori and some actor. After crying, talking, shouting and making love, Tori convinced Jade it was time to get some help. It was the right thing to do, something Tori should have done years before.

Tori suspected that Jade was with her because Jade needed her. Enough need can turn into love. But what happens to the love when the need is no longer there. If the love is real, maybe they stay together. However, there were a lot of Hollywood divorces that came because the person who needed someone got famous,, or got well, and didn't need the other any more. Their love faded with the need.

Tori was afraid. She knew Jade was with her out of need, and if she removed that need, Jade would be gone. But they were both seven years out of Hollywood Arts, and both had careers worth being stalked now. Jade was a writer/director who finished film school in three years with an independent move about a girl seduced by the romanticized supernatural world, only to die after unintentionally feeding her closest friends to the creature who was manipulating her. The Horror film/Dark comedy/Tragedy was the first of Jade's highly successful movies, and Jade was known as one of the go to people for horror films that make a lot of money. Jade's therapy was going very well as well. While Jade's reputation on TMZ and the like was the total bitch who probably made the movies she did because she thought people were stupid and liked to see them suffer, her personal demons were being put to rest one at a time. Tori had watched jade reconnect with her parents, often a volatile situation but still helping the goth heal. Tori had held jade's hand when she talked about everything that shaped her into who she was. Jade would always love dark scary things, but Tori had found the girl who liked children and loved looking at the stars at night.

Today was a bad day, another reporter asked how Tori Vega, one of America's sweethearts, could be with jade West, and while Tori had given her usual spiel about how she liked to look at Jade's work as a whole rather than Jades attitude towards the press as vultures with nothing better to do than look for trouble where there was none. This could be bad. Jade hadn't spoken to Beck in years. Tori only spoke to him through Skype or by phone. Jade didn't know Tori was still in contact with Beck, and the possessive girl was sure to overreact. Seven years and it could all end today.

Jade was waiting for her in the apartment they shared. By unspoken agreement, they had each acquired a home in different cities and just shared housing wherever they went. The New York apartment Tori bought, worth over five million, was where they were for the next three weeks. Jade saw her therapist via Skype, and sometimes with a colleague who was local to where she was. Today, Jade had a serious look on her face. No makeup, hair barely tended too, but still looking put together. Jade was sitting on the couch when Tori got home.

"Do you love me?" Jade opened.

"Of course I do. Look, I just wanted to talk to Beck, see if we could mend fences..." Tori started to explain.

"I thought you were giving a status report. You know, Jade's not dead, she's still a little crazy, etc." Jade said, her voice was eerily calm.

"Whats that supposed to mean?' Tori shot back. This was strange.

"That reminds me, I haven't seen cat in three years. I should look her up." Jade said, still calm. Tori looked confused and hurt, so Jade continued. "I figured it out, years ago. You always tried to take care of us, afraid that we'd get hurt if you weren't there to keep an eye on us. And hay, it worked. Instead of a footnote about a failed actress's drunken suicide, I'm headline news when I throw a min-tantrum. Congratulations. The real question is, did you ever love me?"

"Jade, that's not fare. I've always cared about you." Tori was not sure where this was coming from. Jade had remained calm, although there was some hurt in her voice towards the end of her otherwise cynical speech. Jade didn't do grateful well at all. It made award shows awkward. "Of course I love you. How else could I put up with your.." Tori had too many choices. "Your Bitchy attitude, your constant putdowns, or your..." Tori faded out, not willing to admit how hard it was to worry about the woman you love killing herself while you go for groceries.

"I haven't been suicidal for over three years, ever since I started therapy. Okay, the urge used to be there, but I'm a lot better now. The last time I wanted to end it was when I figure out what you were with me. God, Tori, is that all I ever was, a charity case? And who were you protecting? Me or Beck?" Jade was now nearing tears. She didn't try to fight them back, instead focusing her glare towards Tori. The singer didn't know what to say.

"Jade..." Tori felt like she was losing Jade here, but it was the price for getting the goth into therapy, for getting Jade healthy.

"I'm setting you free." Jade voice cut through the room, again calm, but now Tori could tell it was from jades acting training. The actress had put up a mask, and wasn't letting anyone see her true emotions.

"You're leaving me?" Tori gasped.

"Didn't say that. I setting you free. I'm successful, I'm no longer suicidal, and I have friends of my own. I don't need you anymore. I release you of whatever obligations originally bound you to me. Even the engagement, which you used to buy me going into therapy, I'm letting you go." Jade said, her voice catching along the way. Her mask was cranking.

"And if I'm not ready to go?" Tori asked. Jade was bad at gratitude, Tori knew this, but this was almost spiteful. Tori was getting angry.

"Then stay. I said I'm freeing you, not dumping you. 'If you love something, let it go.'" Jade started.

Tori wasn't about to just give up, but now she could see how much Jade did love her, to offer her freedom from any responsibility for their relationship. Jade would do just fine, and now Tori had to choose if she wanted this or not. Tori was on her in an instant, kissing the actress with a passion she hadn't realized was there. The long act had become the truth for both of them. Their love, maybe, might be more than just the need. Finally, breaking the kiss, Tori had something to say. "I want this, I really do. Jade, I love you so much. I want this, but I need a bigger commitment out of you."

Jade looked the singer in they eyes, easy to do while Tori held her, practically lying on top of her. "What?' Jade was weary. She loved Tori, and wanted their relationship to be based on love, not obligations.

"I was hoping maybe we could have a child or two. There are a lot of options on how we could do it, and I know you'd be such a great mother. If we decide to have one, I'll carry. I don't want..." The kiss silenced her.

Once the kiss broke, Jade spoke. "Okay, but I wanna carry one too. I always wanted to be a mother. Oh, and Tori, I think we should invite Beck to dinner. It's time I made peace with that part of my life."

As they moved towards the bedroom, tori agreed. Now, she was in love, and she needed to make sure Beck understood. Screw TMZ.

:}

I hope eventually to have something new for you, my loyal reader. Reviews are welcome.


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